As the new year approaches I’m feeling a greater call to improve my walk with God. A call that’s been steadily growing louder throughout the year, but especially over the past few months. It’s like the LORD is telling me “draw closer…draw closer.”
And what a fool I’d be not to respond to the LORD’s call, inviting me to a closer walk with Him. But I’ve asked myself too many times how do I do that? I being the operative word in that sentence. I feel the need for a closer walk with Him and yet, right from the get-go, I’m trying to figure out how I am going to do this. Instead of just relying completely on the LORD.
I’m not saying this will require no effort on my part, but I’ve already been relying on my own plans and thoughts. Instead of prayerfully considering the change that God is wanting to make in my life and how that can be achieved in His way. And then I keep chanting to myself “I can do this…look at the close walk others have with God…I can have that too!” Which, sure, that’s true. But how independent of me! I’m trying to deepen my relationship with Him and already I’m not putting my trust and faith and dependence on Him. Already, I’m looking at others’ walk with Him instead of just worrying about the work that God is wanting to do in MY life.
Sometimes I get a little big headed about it. Not that I feel the desire to rub it in people’s faces that I feel this need to do better. Just that in my own head I feel like I’m doing a good job by having these desires. So I think I’m on the right track. But that’s my first mistake. And that’s the problem. These aren’t my desires. These are God’s desires for me. It’s God who is touching my mind. And it’s only Him that can give me the strength to continue to grow.
In my devotional today I was reading about being a peacemaker. But to do the things of God and be like Christ you have to lean on Him. It’s not by our own strength. It’s so great to have the desire to change and do better. But you can’t do it by yourself. Even if you seek to do good if it’s all with your own head knowledge and efforts then you’ll fail.
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5
“I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” John 15:5
In ALL thy ways acknowledge Him(Proverbs 3:6.) Seek Him. Lean on Him. Trust Him. And that is what I hope to do this year in all of my endeavors. Not just my spiritual ones but also as a wife and mother(though I suppose those are spiritual endeavors too.) As I go about my day I want to have the LORD on the forefront of my mind. Constant in prayer. Seeking Him for my strength, His guidance. I fall in so many areas of my life. Probably because I’ve been so dependent on myself or even others instead of looking to Him-my comfort and my strength.
I just want to make it a habit to look for and see God in all I do-to depend FULLY on Him for all I need. Because if not for Him I wouldn’t even be here. His grace is sufficient for me! His strength is made perfect in my weakness! II Corinthians 12:9 And, boy, do I have a lot of weaknesses. I need His help!